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How Do Our Children Handle Mom's Cancer?
January 8th, 2013
Do we wonder what they are thinking or feeling? Our major concern is about getting through this terrible disease, praying it's not going to end in death and wondering who is going to take care of the kids, and our husbands.
Your cancer diagnosis has a profound impact on your entire family. It takes center stage.
Children don't understand. It's that simple... They know mommy's sick, they know sometimes they are told to kiss mommy good night, but then it's "leave mom alone now, she needs her rest".
They know something is happening, sometimes they feel they've done something wrong, maybe they think "I've caused this by being bad", they are confused or angry. Much younger children need that extra touch of encouragement and love.
Now I'm addressing older children, let's say teenagers...
The cancer changes everything in their lives, daily routines aren't the same, and won't be for quite awhile. Some are resentful, "I have volleyball practice", or "I'm trying out for cheerleading". Not all teenagers are resentful, I'm guessing some of you can relate to this though.
Some children are extremely helpful, many pick up the banner and fight to raise money for breast or ovarian cancer. The bottom line is none of these children want to lose their mother, regardless of their reactions. Remember their reactions are based on fear and the unknown.
Reassure your children, let them know how much you love them, allow them to participate in your care. Let them,actually encourage them, to express their feelings. Let them know they will always be taken care of. Communication with your kids is important.
Show them as much love as possible. If you have any questions please email me, I'll be here to help.